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Neither he nor any of the other taxis drove there but he pointed to a mashrutka that had pulled up to take on passengers. When the time came, they got my attention, I gave them a big smile and thanked them as I got off. The highway is across the river from the city, and they had placed me perfectly at the bridge that led back to it and the taxi stand. I like a good thrill, and I had been disappointed with the lack of maniacal driving that can make transport exciting. The guidebook had led me to believe that such driving was ubiquitous, but 5 weeks into this trip, I was wondering what the fuss was all about.

With a canyon wall on one side and a drop-off to the riverbed on the other, the experience was exhilarating! I half-heartedly started to hitch before I made the better decision to get out of the cool drizzle, stop pretending I was any good at hitching, and arrive in Toktogul before dark. I found a ride in a rather lightly used Toyota minivan from Japan. With someone coughing most of the trip, I got rather annoyed that no one would crack a window or turn on the fan to move the air. I just sat there trying to breathe as little of the stagnant, human-humidified air as possible. A relic I found walking the streets of Toktogul Toktogul is a rather small town near the banks of the Toktogul Reservoir, but it has one proper tree-lined parkway that leads into the town from the highway.

That mattered little since it had been another long day of traveling and nibbling on an assortment of snacks for sustenance. I just wanted to drop my pack and get the fresh fried fish that I read about earlier. The driver dropped me at the nicest hotel in town. Honestly, I think he was just being a good host. I would do the same in his position. I would want a guest to see the nicest parts of my country. As I walked in, I noticed that it was eerily empty. I quickly learned from the hotel owners that there was no water. Next to a huge reservoir?

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I put those thoughts behind me only to realize that I had misread the guidebook. As consolation, I found a stand that had fresh, hand-made mushroom and onion piroshkies. With two lead weights sitting in my stomach, I decided to take a walk around town to help digestion as the sun set. The scene was nothing unusual or note worthy- just the usual assortment of kids playing in the street and riding their bikes. As dusk became night, the kids started migrating home, as did I. Back at the hotel, I had to face the reality that there was no running water here either. The whole town was without water, in fact. As I settled in for bed, I decided to check my text messages by turning on my phone.

Surprisingly, there was one from Sjoerd asking what I had been doing. I explained that I had dinner and that I had just returned from a walk. It is the reason why I had to say goodbye. It was hurting me too much to settle for part-time love. Can you imagine what life would be like without the restrictions we had? How carefree we would be? The conversations we would have for hours, the holding each other at all hours of the day: I so wanted that peaceful, loving feeling. So sweet, the love we have. I am now living my life honestly and openly. It takes courage but just feels right. I hope you are able to be true to yourself and live the life you truly want.

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