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How to break free from codependency
You can stone more about codependehcy habits and cartons of codependent scrap here. It may be a corporate pattern that you are no realizing for the first every in a social or it may be something in between. I documented for help. However, once the snap moves from helping to being codependent it becomes magnolia and highly dysfunctional for both no.
At school, I adopted the cldependency of boy-crazy-funny-girl. I wanted to be adored and nurtured and cherished. I kept a list of all the cute boys at my school and spent hours daydreaming about a blissful, fairy tale love. Codependecy consistently focused on seeking happiness outside of myself. This habitual practice, over time, led to an inability to be content unless something or someone was providing validation. Most of the time, I felt like I was not good enough. This falsely instilled belief led me into a decade-long struggle with codependency.
The first codependent relationship I was involved in began when I was nineteen. He was ten years older than I was, and, unbeknownst to me at the time, a cocaine addict. Our routine was unhealthy and unproductive. We would spend our weekends drinking and gambling at a local pool hall. More often than not, I spent my entire weekly paycheck by the end of Saturday night. He belittled me, called me names, and consistently criticized my appearance and weight. He compared me to his previous girlfriends.
Steps to Breaking the Pattern of Codependency
I began to see myself as an incomplete person, one who was in need of major repairs and upgrades. In a frantic effort to self-preserve, I adopted several fear-based behaviors. I became obsessed with him. I was controlling and jealous. I needed to know everything about his past. I wanted desperately for him to accept me. Over the ten months we spent together, I neglected my body and mind. My weight dropped a staggering thirty pounds. I was completely disconnected from my family and friends. I developed severe anxiety and suffered crippling panic attacks. I knew something had to change, so How to break free from codependency gathered the courage and left him behind.
I thought that I was rid of this unhealthy and unsatisfying lifestyle, but the bad habits carried Horny latino women in witbank my next two relationships. I spent four years with a person that I loved very much; however, his alcohol dependency brought all of my insecurities and controlling behavior back into play. We spent four years flip-flopping between wonderful loving moments and horrific physical fights that left us both numb and depressed. When this relationship ended, I sought comfort in yet another unavailable partner, one that could not provide me with the stability that I so badly needed.
Such is the nature of the codependent person. We seek out what is familiar to us, but not necessarily what is good for us. After logging close to a decade-worth of codependent hours, I finally faced myself. I got myself a small apartment and started my recovery. The first few days spent alone were absolutely torturous. I cried and cried. I had trouble doing basic tasks, like walking my dog or getting groceries. I had completely turned inward, nurturing my turmoil like an old friend. Anxiety-ridden and lonely, I did the only thing I could think of: I asked for help. This is probably the most significant self-improvement book I have ever read.
I felt a weight being lifted as I read, page by page. Finally, I was able to understand all of the behaviors, feelings, and emotions I had struggled with for so long. Do you feel responsible for other people—their feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being, and destiny? Do you feel compelled to help people solve their problems or by trying to take care of their feelings?
Do you find it easier to feel and express anger about injustices done to others than about injustices done to you? Do you feel safest coeependency most comfortable when you coeependency giving to others? Do you feel insecure and guilty when someone gives to you? Codwpendency you feel empty, bored, and worthless if cidependency don't have someone else to take care of, a problem to solve, or a crisis to deal with? Are you often unable to stop talking, thinking, and worrying about other people and their problems? Because the fdom is always Hod to pick up the pieces their partner How to break free from codependency continue with unhealthy patterns of immaturity, cdependency, under achievement and often addiction without directly suffering frmo natural consequences of that behavior.
Codependents are the caretakers in the relationship. Initially they start out trying to help their partner and be supportive. At first this may have felt rewarding and left the codependent feeling needed in the relationship. The codependent ultimately becomes responsible for the relationship as a whole. The codependent finds themselves feeling overwhelmed, helpless and trapped unable to break the cycle of codependency, resulting in dysfunction and unhappiness in the relationship. As this behavior pattern becomes engrained codependents may find themselves repeating this behavior in other relationships and friendships.
This behavioral pattern maybe something that has evolved over time starting in one relationship and then was repeating in future relationships or it may be something that was learned from others as a result of growing up in or living in a dysfunctional environment for a period of time. How do you know if you are in a codependent relationship? Everyone experiences codependent characteristics at different times in their life. When you find that this pattern is consistently a way you relate to others in your relationships and you are repeating the pattern from relationship to relationship, you may be codependent. If you feel you are in a relationship where you have lost your sense of self and ability to exist independent of your partner you may have fallen into a codependent pattern.
The following list summarizes some of the characteristics a codependent struggles with: Breaking free from a codependent pattern requires commitment, hard work and vigilance. The payoff makes it worth the effort.